If you wanna go big, go Oasis Las Vegas.

46 acres with spaces for 935 RVs, a “Centurion” posted at the front gate for the security of the guests, separate family and adult pools with waterfalls and spas, restaurant, banquet facilities, fitness center, and 18-hole putting course.

At every RV spot there are the remnants of phone service from the more hip Rat Pack era, to call either another RV and plan a cocktail hour, or the 24,000 foot clubhouse to coordinate a White Wedding in their chapel. Perhaps you and 280 special guests can celebrate your daughter’s Quinceanera in the elegant ballroom, trailer park style.

This place has got it all, baby! Gyp and I took some serious walks together late in the evening in a balmy 90-degree heat, following a 104⁰ water sucking, dry desert day heat.(Gyp noted no swimming facilities for dogs.) It was almost magical at night with each RV mini-home lit up with activity in air-conditioned comfort. A number of years ago, Ruth and I began noticing trailer “handles,” or monograms if you will, and this was the place to build out that list. Mind you, my notations were taken at night through the dim light of each RV pad pedestal light, but here goes (as you read, think about what emotions these names elicit in your mind):

Adventurer, Sea Breeze, Avenger, Dominator, South Wind, Springdale, Designer, Road Warrior, Freedom Elite, Silverback, Cyclone, Brave, Magic Bus, Carriage, Imperial, Montana, Summit, King of the Road, Coachman, Pursuit, Elk Ridge, Voyager, Cardinal, Cougar, Lynx, Alumiscape, Rockwood, Vectra, Sportsmaster, Prowler, Cherokee, Conquest, Bighorn, Wave, Alpenlite, Sierra, Westport, Cameo, Bayhill, Pinnacle, New Vision, Big Country, Mountain Air, Cornerstone, Bounder, Caribou, Outlaw, Prevost, Patriot, Funfinder, Starcraft, North Trail, Cruiser, Heritage Glen, Cedar Creek, Solitude, Denali. We would be remiss for not adding in our own baby, Airstream International Serenity.

So I got about 60 here and there were untold numbers of repeats, and, forgive me for falling down on my reporting duties, but do you know how long it takes to walk around near 900 candidates? The park was very full the night of our extended walk and armed with this census and an insatiable need to collect useless facts, Ruth and I calculated that if the park was just 3/4 full, and each site paid approximately $50 (which is middle- to low-range daily rates), the daily operational take would be $33,750, or a very cool $1,012,500 per month. This will pay the electric bill, I reckon, not counting ancillary fees…and the casinos are just down the street!